Home But Still Scared
For the past five years, I have been living in the ever-beautiful region of Andalusia, which is the southern part of Spain. I originally came here to improve my Spanish skills, but extended my stay to study film and fashion. During my studies, I fell further in love with Spain, met my amazing partner SB, and began raising our sweet cat-son Russ. All this love made it easy to decide not to return to the United States, but my love for my family piles guilt onto my plate daily.
I recently wrote about my fear of returning to the United States after living abroad for so long. My fear stemmed from my guilt of being away so long, as well as my worry of how severe of a reverse culture shock I would have. If you are wondering why I had spent five years away, the answer is quite short and unpoetic. Spain’s strict regulations regarding the pandemic, and my worries about COVID-19, kept me from coming home for the first three years. My tumultuous relationship with my family kept me away for the remaining two.
I have been back in my home state and have been bombarded with such an array of feelings. According to my loved ones, I have always been too sensitive and overly affectionate. These two traits will get you eaten alive on both sides of my family. If you manage to survive their devouring, you will be left to find your way out of the…
